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look at us rallying our defenses.

Okay, so we've come to a fork in the road, folks.

I'm probably not going to be updating this journal anymore. It's staying up, because I'm like that, and may get renamed, but I've moved so much of my emotional and temporal investment to the other journal that it's kind of stupid to keep up the pretense.

If you want to stay in touch with me, please, please, please friend azurejay. I'll be friending around a little bit, but I don't want to presume you're interested in keeping up with my life anymore, so please friend first if you are.

azurejay doesn't have quite so many meat life details, and it is primarily a journal for my involvement in bandom, but! It's still me, and I miss you guys.

Anyway. I'm probably going to start crying if I keep thinking about the fact that I'm making this entry. Sorry.

A month later, for sarken: "I Don't Care (Suave Suarez Remix)," and "America's Suitehearts" (such a good song).

In other news, oh my god. I reorganized all my HTML files, 'cause new website, having to recode shit, etc., and I realized that I. Don't. Have. A bunch of my Sports Night stuff in HTML. Like, I know it got upped to the old site, but I don't have the files on my computer, and the old site is gone poof!. And I'm talking, like, all my drabbles. Oh my god.

I should be able to get the drabbles from sn100 directly, and the regular fic from this journal, but seriously. If not, I will be such an emo bear, you have no idea.

eta: And my paid account expired! Because I forgot to renew! Awesome!

Whatever, I'm going to bed. *throws hands up*


and even though it all went wrong.

Of the things I needed to do today (write, transcribe some bandom media stuff, and buy a new dresser), I accomplished exactly none.

However, I did go pick up my paystub and fill out an overtime slip for yesterday morning, and I did go grocery shopping, and I did go to Starbucks and have a delicious apple drink thing, and I did do all of this with the bf, who is awesome. I did come home and have pizza and then go to a community meeting regarding the closing of the only actual grocery store in my neighbourhood (the only other option for the mobility-challenged/transit-dependent being the foodstuffs aisle at Walmart; grr argh grr BJ smash corporate capitalism), and I did come home again and eat some ice cream and watch Snatch for the fifty millionth time, again, all of this with my awesome bf.

So, all in all, not a completely wasted day.

We Tivoed SPN. Hopefully it took, 'cause last week the local broadcast was utterly garbled. Unfortunately, since I didn't try to watch it until Sunday, I missed recording the re-air on Space on Friday or Saturday or whenever it is. Fucknuts.

Anyway. I hope your day was as unexpectedly (or expectedly) productive as mine (or satisfying, at least).


PS: In two days, I will be able to transfer my domain to NearlyFreeSpeech.net, and I can has a website again! Yay!
Regarding Dexter 1.07, "Circle Of Friends." WHAT? WHAT? They killed off the baby serial killer! That is so mean! He was a psychologically traumatized hustler, guys! He was a baby serial killer who hustled in a park and had animal chemistry with Michael C. Hall, of all people! You can't kill him off! Except they totally did.

I carried such a torch. /kaywinnitleefrye

Also, the last scene was completely fucking fantastic. He thinks he's not capable of feeling? What was on his face, then? Disappointment, resignation, confusion, hope? Adorable. And hilarious. I really like this show!

Events of local interest:

1. T-Bodies Productions presents Trans Continuum, a dance party. November 27, at Lick.

2. The (ir)Reverend Fred Phelps is coming to Vancouver! I know, right! A production of The Laramie Project is playing on The Drive, and Mr. Phelps apparently has nothing better to do than fly up here and picket. It's going to go over like a lead zeppelin, guys. Counter protest: Anti-Hate Rally on November 28, organized by the play's production company.

3. Barring unforeseen babies, Fall Out Boy are playing in Seattle on December 4 (with Boys Like Girls and The Academy Is ellipsis). estrellada and I are driving down on Thursday afternoon and returning Friday afternoon. Car buddies? Concert buddies? Anybody want merch purchased? Photos taken? Concert calls? I cannot speak for Tillie, but I personally draw the line at licking Certain Celebrities.

I think that's all. Yep. Angst-free this week! Huzzah and good--

Oh wow, I'm sorry about that nonsense last night. I don't delete entries, but if I did, it would so be the first in line.

1. About half a hour after I posted, while I was reading myself to sleep (Fight Club, incidentally), I belatedly remembered all the times it has been proven to me that I'm wanted, and all the times I've felt wanted, and yeah. This is your brain on a lifetime of pessimism and blackhole lack of self-whatever.

2. Dude, the only potentiality of that post is making the people who care about you feel either pissed off or shitty, both of which are very bad things. Because they are awesome people and so fucking worth it, worth the interpesonal and just plain personal work, every day, all the time, and you? Are an asshole.

Which is not to say that I will never be emo again (haha), but hopefully this dose of perspective will last for a while.

*grumbly faces*


what if you peaked early.

When I grow up, I want to want someone who wants me back. Like, italicized, capital-w want, not just "yeah, we're both here and I like you well enough, that's cool," or "I love you, but I'm not into sex."

nothing worth reading here. posting anyway because it"s my journal and i can do that.Collapse )

Yeah, seriously. That was the most attractive post ever. Fuck's sake.

*goes to bed*


keep a secret code.

About The Things That You've Done
Dean/Gordon | 1370 words | NC17

Disclaimer: Yeah, whatever. Don't own, don't sue.
Note(s): "Missing scene" from "Bloodlust" (episode 2.03). About as close to PWP as I ever get. Title/summary from "Don't Stop" by Fleetwood Mac. I recommend listening to it while reading, if you can, in order to get the full effect. It's a multimedia experience. If you feel like talking at/to me about what little racial stuff there is in this story, I'm down with that (I'm just going to blame estrellada for all the bad shit anyway).

Why not think about times to come, and not about the things that you"ve done.Collapse )

you could lose yourself.

I kind of don't want to post this, out of consideration for those who are recently broken-up, but. Whatever.

The other night, I said something self-deprecating, and the bf was like, "If I wanted somebody who wasn't like you, I wouldn't be with you." I don't know. Happy Relationship Moment, or something.

We're going to Germany next May, btw. For ten days. Fun times! I have to renew my passport!


this world it wore him out.

I'm watching last night's The Hour, and Robert Kennedy, Jr., is like, "The only guy telling the truth in today's media is Keith Olbermann. All the other guys are just like a karaoke group for Karl Rove." Amazing. Amazing.

Junior also thinks the most significant single act of green Canadians can commit is sneaking across the border next Tuesday and voting for Obama. I totally would, Junior! I totally would. But I have to work. Also, I don't want to be arrested.

Now Lewis Black is on. I love this show.


it'll soon be here better than before.

Hey! I stayed home from Parade of Lost Souls to watch Dexter (s1 is showing "uncut haha" on Bravo, so I decided to give it a try, and I am so glad I did*) and Guy Ripley on the set of "I Don't Care." I also stayed home to ensure good weather for everyone attending. Worth it!

(Kind of. Whatever, I'm ridiculous and couldn't find exactly the right skeleton gloves for my costume, or exactly the right top hat. Stuff.)

I'm still thinking about the new username. Stayed tuned, or don't. Doing a massive-for-me flist cut as well. I'm going to cut loose all of the comms, and a bunch of people who friended me four years ago probably hoping I would post explicit scene reports or something, idk. I want to get the flist under control so I can get caught back up with everyone I actually know and care about. Awesome!

eta: Really? Really? Look at how many of you haven't defriended me. I'm shocked. I mean--filters, of course. But seriously? Two people? This is just--weird. Anyway.

SPN: I loved "Monster Movie," blahblah horror movies and gender cakes. I also really liked "Yellow Fever," except for Jensen being absolutely horribly over the top two-thirds of the time (maybe he only did it so Jared would look professional by comparison?). But then he was absolutely brilliantly over the top in the credits (it's the THRILL of the FIGHT! estrellada!), and Jared was laughing, so that's okay.

Further to SPN, plus some srs bidnis: I am writing a fic (really, finishing a fic that I started two years ago, whatever), and I'm very worried about revivifying the icky Fetishizations ov teh Black Menz wank (not that anyone pays attention to my SPN fic, but still. The one time you don't want people to notice you've posted something, right). I don't know. Maybe when I'm actually finished the story, I will ask for opinions. Or I'll just post it. Because it's one sentence, really. And it's Dean. Dean has not had his consciousness raised. Dean thinks stupid things. I'm just talking to myself now, sorry.

I'm gonna go work on that thing, okay.


*Um. Fic? Preferably very, very of the homogay sex type. Possibly featuring our esteemed anti-hero and the barely-legal manslaughterer from 1.03? I. I don't know. Sometimes I get like this. It's bad. At least I don't kill people for fun? And at least it's not pianists this time? Shrug.